Lonely, Even Though You're In A Relationship
Did you know that couples are fighting less than they were 20 years ago?
Seems like a positive statistic, right?
Did you know that couples are spending 28% less time together shopping, hanging out at home, or pursuing projects or recreational activities together?
Now it starts to make sense. People aren't spending as much time together, so it follows that they have less time to argue or fight.
We call this "Turning Away". Couples are constantly bidding for each others' attention ("Hey, want to go for a walk later?"), but they're not Turning Toward their partner's bid. They're Turning Away ("What did you say?," pretending not to hear the request/bid.)
Amazingly, we've found that Turns Away teach your partner to stop bidding at all. They stop asking to do things with you. And then the loneliness develops, and you can begin to develop separate, but parallel lives.
The good news is that much of this is reversible. Turning Toward leads to more Turning Toward. Many couples make a commitment to Turn Toward each others' bids at least once a day, which can quickly end the loneliness spiral. Let us know if we can help you with this.