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"Sensualist" Communication Style: Keeping Sex Alive Long Term

Updated: Sep 4, 2019


Keeping the bedroom exciting long term doesn’t have to be a challenge. On this episode of Hear Me Out! on Channel Q, we talk about ways to keep your sex life happy and healthy. 

The trick is to… 


Keep the lines of communication open about sex, and to be talking about sex as much as you can. 


1. Use scaling questions to initiate sex. If you’re at a 7 out of 10, and your partner is 4, then the discussion simply becomes, “What would it take to get you to a 5?” This takes the pressure off of needing to be at a 10 all the time. 


2. If you’re with a partner who’s experienced any kind of sexual trauma in the past, you can use your current relationship to help heal what has happened. It all comes down to your open and supportive response, and keeping space for him or her to talk about what happened. If the trauma was serious, we often encourage couples to pursue post-traumatic stress therapy in conjunction with learning new communication skills. This is so common that we now offer this routinely in our Fix Your Relationship Program. 


3. We found that there are four primary Communication Styles, and one of those is what we call “The Sensualist.” These individuals evaluate the quality of their bond with others in terms of physical connection. They’re often physically affectionate as a commonplace gesture.


Sensualists often find themselves being shamed, though, by the other three Styles simply because their misunderstood. If this might be you, the best place to start is with our Communication Style quiz to open up a dialogue with your partner or dates. 


To listen to the whole episode, take a listen here…