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"Referee" Communication Style: Confront Conflict to Connect

Updated: Mar 25, 2021

How do LGBT individuals and couples have great (and productive) conflicts?

Miscommunication is the norm in relationships. That's just how they work.

Your focus should be, though, avoiding "rocks in the shoe." Couples who address conflicts proactively avoid carrying their miscommunications forward.

So how do you do this?

The trick is to avoid provoking defensiveness in your partner, or the person listening to your views.

Step 1: Talk about what you want, not what you don't want.

Step 2: Talk about yourself, not about your partner.

How does this look in action? Listen to this 15-minute radio episode from our Hear Me Out! radio program.

Listen to the whole episode here to figure out how to have great conflicts with a partner.  

If conflict is an issue in your current relationship, often you simply need some new skills. You can build that skill yourself, or with your partner, in order to be a pro at relationship conflict. Download our Stop Fighting Toolkit for five skills and videos you can start moments from now.

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