Money is tight for everyone right now, and lately the Gay Couples Relationship Clinic in SF has seen an increase in couples coming in for help with financial problems. In response to this, we're creating a free online web seminar showing gay couples how to deal with conflict stemming from financial worries. More on that later, though.
So how do couples get through this rough time? I think the most important thing couples do initially is recognize that you're stressed out about your mortgage or the economy, and not necessarily about your partner. I saw one couple this week who prefaced any ranting about money with, "Look, I just need to vent for a minute, it's not you I'm mad at." Realizing he's not the *target* of the rant, then his partner could listen empathetically, not trying to fix things right away.
Too often we try to jump in, giving our partner solutions to their problems, when what they really need is space to think things through aloud. The coming free web seminar will discuss how to incorporate this kind of "ranting session" into your everyday schedule. We'll also show you some rules to put around the ranting so that no one gets blamed, or gets defensive.
If you're interested in the free seminar about handling money disputes, just watch your email for registration....
Let us know how else the Gay Couples Institute can help your relationship.
Wishing you success,
Salvatore Garanzini, MFT