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Understanding Monogamy and Gay Couples

Updated: Nov 13, 2019

What does the research say about monogamous gay male relationships?

Many people assert arguments such as, 'Men weren't designed to have one partner, they're biologically built procreate as often and as much as possible'.

But the biological argument often contradicts scientific research in developmental psychology showing that children are happier and healthier when raised by two loving parents. It then follows that to have two loving parents in a child's life on a continuous basis, it's best that they are in a committed relationship. But what about monogamous?

So what's the right answer?

A researcher at the University of Windsor, Ontario, conducted a fascinating study examining gay male monogamy.

What he found was that:

  1. Monogamous value systems were most often present in:

  • Younger gay couples

  • Men new to gay relationships

  • Men whose younger years were spent in cultures with little exposure to same-sex life

  1. More common was an "allegiance" to masculine values of adventure and autonomy, and this extended to sexual life. Non-monogamy was often an assertion of sexual self-determination.

What do you think?

Monogamous values are more present in younger couples, but could it be that as gay men come out at younger ages, and as homosexuality is more accepted by the larger population, the interest in 'sexual self-determination' will decrease?

- Gay Couples Institute Research Team

Relationship Innovation in Male Couples. Adam, Barry D.; Sexualities, Vol 9(1), Feb 2006. pp. 5-26.

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