http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog Research Blog Fri, 31 Oct 2008 15:53:29 +0000 http://backend.userland.com/rss092 en Two quick questions: What are your top two relationship desires?  Do you have any suggestions about topics we should cover in coming workshops or seminars?  We've been asking gay couples these questions for months now; below are many of the responses. Post your answers in the comments below. We read your suggestions to ... http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/2008/10/31/your-top-relationship-concerns/ So, we’ve been talking about something, and we wanted your feedback. Over the last year, my staff and I have been working on an enormous project. We've been taking all of the: - facts and information we've learned over the last 3 years about what makes successful gay couples work... - all of ... http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/2008/10/22/what-format-works-best-for-couples/ Money is tight for everyone right now, and lately the Gay Couples Relationship Clinic in SF has seen an increase in couples coming in for help with financial problems. In response to this, we're creating a free online web seminar showing gay couples how to deal with conflict stemming from ... http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/2008/10/08/when-disputes-over-finances-threaten-your-relationship/ Some gay couples never argue, whereas some couples argue a lot. Are some kinds of arguments considered worse than others? Check out this article I wrote about arguments in the Labor Day issue of SF Gloss Magazine and get some of your questions answered! http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/GCI.Gloss.Article.2.pdf [poll id="3"] http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/2008/08/29/are-all-arguments-created-equal/ Obviously when you marry you never think you might be sitting in a divorce attorney's office dividing your assets. Who would want to think such things? But it can happen. So now that gay couples can marry in some states, how can gay couples take on the responsibility of trying to ... http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/2008/08/08/gay-marriage-gay-divorce-how-to-reduce-the-risk-youll-divorce/ Do same sex couples tend to get along better? I'll be on radio KSVY 91.3 in Sonoma talking about this at 2pm PST. I plan on reviewing the below two excellent studies. Esther Rothblum, a professor of Women's Studies at San Diego State University, coauthored a fascinating study completed in January, ... http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/2008/07/11/what-is-the-effect-of-discrimination-on-same-sex-couples-were-on-radio-show-at-2p-ksvy-913-today/ Many couples in gay relationships struggle with stopping arguments. But are arguments really something to be avoided? The country's leading relationship researcher, John Gottman, PhD, has found in his 30 years of observational research that all relationships have disagreements, and even arguments at some point. Arguments, by themselves, are not correlated with ... http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/2008/06/28/gay-relationships-how-to-stop-arguing-part-1/ Do open relationships really work? Let's find out. Here's the information you need to register for the web seminar series on open relationships. The seminars are being held: - Tuesday, June 24th, 12:30pm, (PST) Topic: Communication Skillbuilding - Part 1 - Wednesday, June 25th, 12:30pm, (PST). Topic: Is This Right For Me? - Thursday, June ... http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/2008/06/13/registration_details/ In 2000, Vermont was the first state to legalize same-sex relationships, so that heterosexual and same-sex couples had the same legal rights. Published in February in Developmental Psychology was the first longitudinal study completed to examine same-sex couples in civil unions. Researchers had 65 male and 138 female couples participate in ... http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/2008/06/05/three-year-follow-up-where-are-the-vermont-same-sex-married-couples-now/ Gay open relationships are a really difficult topic for many couples. Clearly, an open relationship is right for some couples, and not right for others. Given so much pain caused by this topic (see below) we're putting together a web seminar series for you. In preparation for our seminar series on ... http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/2008/06/01/feedback-your-concerns-about-open-relationships/ Dear Reader, We've received over 44 emails with suggestions for the Ask The Expert Series coming to our Web Seminar workshops schedule. I'm going to start the Expert series June 3rd, with sign up registration beginning between Monday, May 26th and Thursday, May 29th. POST MORE OF YOUR IDEAS BELOW! Your suggestions so ... http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/2008/05/20/your-ideas-for-ask-the-expert-web-seminar-series/ As many know, today California repealed the ban on same sex marriage. Couples started filing into the city clerk's office in San Francisco just 20 minutes after the 4 to 3 decision was released. Julie Scearce, 45, and Paula Bocciardi, 52, of the West Portal neighborhood in SF, were the first ... http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/2008/05/15/wanna-have-a-summer-wedding-the-line-is-forming-now-at-city-hall/ Sound familiar? Does this happen at your house? I hope not. It's a predictor of divorce and breakup. The typical situation: Your significant-other brings up something they want you to do. Take out the garbage. Clean the cat litter. Call your family. Wash the car. In response to hearing this AGAIN, you pretend to do something else, putting ... http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/2008/05/05/if-i-pretend-to-read-this-magazine-hell-stop-nagging-me/ Wow. In the first study of it's kind, social scientists have learned that gay and lesbian youth want monogamous long-term relationships. More than 90% of females, and over 80% of males expect to partnered in a monogamous relationship by age 30! Interestingly, the 133 gay/lesbian youth interviewed for the study were in New ... http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/2008/04/29/gay-and-lesbian-youth-want-long-term-monogamous-relationships/ Esther Rothblum, a professor of Women's Studies at San Diego State University, coauthored a fascinating study completed in January, 2008. She, and another associated study found:   Same sex partners are generally happier than their straight siblings who married. Gay couples take larger risks to live openly, thus they must work harder to ... http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/2008/04/25/same-sex-couples-tend-to-get-along-better/ Couples often ask, "After we've had a big argument is it ok to go to bed angry?" What do you think? Leave us a comment below. Our answer? Sure, go to bed angry. Arguments are a re-calibration of some issue in the relationship. You two are trying to fix something and come to ... http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/2008/04/20/its-ok-go-to-bed-angry/ Have you ever been in a relationship where you felt you were doing all the work? Many people can relate to this at some point. It's frustrating. Recently someone mentioned, "I have been putting so much effort into this amazing girl that I met. When we're together she says she wants ... http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/2008/04/09/im-doing-all-the-work/ Dear Readers, We have 131 people on our list who are eagerly awaiting our coming workshop. This is great! If you'd like a preview of the exercises covered, and to get a table of contents of the workshop manual, just go to: http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/video.htm and put your email in.  You'll also get an invitation to ... http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/2008/03/27/how-much-should-i-charge-for-the-workshop/ So you've been on a couple dates and things are going great. You're excited, and you hope your date is too. Then a couple days go by and you get texted.... "I can't hang out Friday night..." or "Really busy this week can I call you next week?" By now, you're wondering: ... http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/2008/03/21/how-to-deal-with-early-dating-overexcitement/ In 2000, Vermont was the first state to legalize same-sex relationships, so that heterosexual and same-sex couples had the same legal rights. Published in February in Developmental Psychology was the first longitudinal study completed to examine same-sex couples in civil unions. Researchers had 65 male and 138 female couples ... http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/2008/03/05/three-year-follow-up-where-are-the-vermont-same-sex-married-couples-now-2/ What does the research say about monogamous gay male relationships? Many people assert arguments such as, 'Men weren't designed to have one partner, they're biologically built procreate as often and as much as possible'. But the biological argument often contradicts scientific research in developmental psychology showing that children are happier and healthier ... http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/2008/02/25/understanding-monogamy-and-gay-couples/ Sometimes it's really difficult to meet other gay couples. The bar scene doesn't always work well. Couples often complain that while in a bar or club they'll meet someone, thinking that person might be a good friend to them both. Then it quickly becomes obvious that the new guy actually is ... http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/2008/02/17/dealing-with-isolation-as-a-couple/ Just coming out? Maybe this article will be good for you to read. Researchers at the University of Kentucky in Lexington surveyed over 500 gay men and women, inquiring about the positive aspects of being gay. Up until now, most of the research has focused on psychopathology, or negative mental health problems ... http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/2008/02/15/the-positive-aspects-of-being-gay-or-lesbian/