Let’s face it, the current economic crisis can be stressful for any couple, and for same-sex couples, who aren’t offered the same financial protections that straight, married couples benefit from, it can be even more so. That’s one of the reasons that the Gay Couples Institute and Johnny Huang, financial representative from Northwestern Mutual, are teaming up to offer a free workshop for gay couples, “Recession-Proof Your Relationship.”
Talking about and negotiating money issues can be difficult, and in truth many couples try to avoid it, but according to Salvatore Garanzini of the Gay Couples Institute, “Couples who successfully discuss money issues and create a financial plan together end up staying together longer.” Therapists call this creating “shared meaning”, and having more shared meaning helps couples put day-to-day conflicts in perspective and help them deescalate conflict easier.
During the workshop, Salvatore will discuss why and how to have successful financial discussions with your partner. Johnny Huang from Northwestern Mutual will be discussing what couples should learn from the financial crisis and specific actions gay and lesbian couples can take to protect and enhance their financial future.
The workshop will be offered on April 20, at 7:00pm. Seating is limited, so please call in advance at 877.424.1221 to reserve your space or if you have any questions.
Obviously when you marry you never think you might be sitting in a divorce attorney’s office dividing your assets. Who would want to think such things?
But it can happen. So now that gay couples can marry in some states, how can gay couples take on the responsibility of trying to stay together?
I found a few good gay pre-marital suggestions from hunting around through the research.
- Ideally, get married after about 2 years of courtship. The ideal courtship length seems to be about 2 years and 4 months, to be exact.
- Marry after age 25.
- Talk about the big issues before marrying. How many kids does he want? How does she handle money? Are you sexually compatible? Couples tend to have one of these 6 common problems to deal with throughout their marriage:
- Money
- Sex
- Parenting
- Getting along with In-Laws
- Tidiness/Chores
- Use of Personal Free Time
- Do stuff together, but also enjoy spending time at home together. One of the important things we look at when evaluating a couple’s relationship is whether, if given the option, they like spending time at home together, or if they’d rather be on the go. A preference of being on the go can be an indication that they’re avoiding being trapped together at home.
- Have issues? Get help. A recent New York Times Article talked about how couples tend to get the most out of doing a couples workshop, rather than going to just therapy by itself. Workshops can serve as a good relationship “checkup”. If you’re interested, take a look at one of our coming gay couples workshops HERE.
For those of you who are getting married, we wish you a long-lasting, happy marriage. Congratulations!
In 2000, Vermont was the first state to legalize same-sex relationships, so that heterosexual and same-sex couples had the same legal rights. Published in February in Developmental Psychology was the first longitudinal study completed to examine same-sex couples in civil unions.
Researchers had 65 male and 138 female couples participate in the follow up study. Where do you think they are now? Are they still together? (more…)
As many know, today California repealed the ban on same sex marriage. Couples started filing into the city clerk’s office in San Francisco just 20 minutes after the 4 to 3 decision was released.
Julie Scearce, 45, and Paula Bocciardi, 52, of the West Portal neighborhood in SF, were the first couple to line up. Way to go.
The Clerk’s office said that they must wait 30 days for the decision to actually go into effect before marrying people, but they’re putting all the couples on a list. Wanna have a summer wedding? Now’s your chance.
It’s worth noting the findings of a study done on same sex couples who received civil unions in Vermont in 2000.
It found:
- Same-sex couples not in civil unions were more likely to have separated.
- Same-sex couples (both unionized and not) reported lower levels of conflict, and greater levels of compatibility, intimacy and relationship quality than heterosexual couples.
Basically, as is the case for heterosexual couples, if you’re married you’re more likely to work through the hard times and not separate. Same sex couples also seem to work harder at keeping their relationship happy and healthy. Would you agree?
Congratulations to all the happy couples getting on the list at City Hall!
In 2000, Vermont was the first state to legalize same-sex relationships, so that heterosexual and same-sex couples had the same legal rights. Published in February in Developmental Psychology was the first longitudinal study completed to examine same-sex couples in civil unions.
Researchers had 65 male and 138 female couples participate in the follow up study. Where do you think they are now? Are they still together?
