Comments on: Your Top Relationship Concerns? http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/2008/10/31/your-top-relationship-concerns/ Research Blog Thu, 09 Sep 2010 00:05:23 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.5.1 By: Jerry http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/2008/10/31/your-top-relationship-concerns/#comment-5590 Jerry Wed, 01 Sep 2010 22:07:33 +0000 http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/?p=39#comment-5590 I called thinking you folks did phone work. Anne was willing to talk with me and advise me more than multiple therapist in the past. This is a class act. All you folks in the Bay area need to know what a treasure you have!!!! I called thinking you folks did phone work. Anne was willing to talk with me and advise me more than multiple therapist in the past. This is a class act. All you folks in the Bay area need to know what a treasure you have!!!!

]]> By: jenny http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/2008/10/31/your-top-relationship-concerns/#comment-5589 jenny Fri, 27 Aug 2010 21:19:34 +0000 http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/?p=39#comment-5589 Have a better sexual relationship and communicate better. And try not to let your relationship change as it grows. Meaning when you first start going out to three years later hope your relationship is the same because remember you went out with that person for a reason being that they were sweet, or sensitive so why would you like them if they change? Have a better sexual relationship and communicate better. And try not to let your relationship change as it grows. Meaning when you first start going out to three years later hope your relationship is the same because remember you went out with that person for a reason being that they were sweet, or sensitive so why would you like them if they change?

]]> By: laur http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/2008/10/31/your-top-relationship-concerns/#comment-5564 laur Mon, 05 Jul 2010 21:40:23 +0000 http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/?p=39#comment-5564 How can we stop arguing over dumb things How can we stop arguing over dumb things

]]> By: laur http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/2008/10/31/your-top-relationship-concerns/#comment-5563 laur Mon, 05 Jul 2010 21:39:19 +0000 http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/?p=39#comment-5563 how do I get over the fact of my girlfriend cheating on me years ago how do I get over the fact of my girlfriend cheating on me years ago

]]> By: Anonymous http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/2008/10/31/your-top-relationship-concerns/#comment-5511 Anonymous Wed, 05 May 2010 00:37:19 +0000 http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/?p=39#comment-5511 I really enjoyed your video I really enjoyed your video

]]> By: Keleka Lane http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/2008/10/31/your-top-relationship-concerns/#comment-5484 Keleka Lane Wed, 24 Feb 2010 00:28:41 +0000 http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/?p=39#comment-5484 Salvatore, I watched the video of couples drifting apart. See here alomost 7 months ago, my partner and I had split up due to the very reasons of the video. I am and have always been in love with her and really wanted things to work out with her. I actually did this very thing on my own. I took a step back and looked at me and she looked at her to find out what happend. Where did we go wrong? What could we do to change it? After we took some serious time apart, but we still communicated with one another. We tried again. But for me I notived that I wasn't giving her the attention she needed and when I was it wasn't the right attention. It was 75% negative, and that is not what she deserved or needed from me and I knew I could giver her better than that. So we did eventually get back together and have been happy and working on keeping us on the right path ever since. The video was very insitefull and had I seen the video before, it may of helped me to see what I was doing wrong. It is a very good video and I am glad my partner had recomended this site to me. Thank you for your dedication and hard work on tring to help other couple out and help them have a healthy and long lasting relationship. I will definatly be recommending this site to my friends. Once again Thank you. Salvatore,
I watched the video of couples drifting apart. See here alomost 7 months ago, my partner and I had split up due to the very reasons of the video. I am and have always been in love with her and really wanted things to work out with her. I actually did this very thing on my own. I took a step back and looked at me and she looked at her to find out what happend. Where did we go wrong? What could we do to change it? After we took some serious time apart, but we still communicated with one another. We tried again. But for me I notived that I wasn’t giving her the attention she needed and when I was it wasn’t the right attention. It was 75% negative, and that is not what she deserved or needed from me and I knew I could giver her better than that. So we did eventually get back together and have been happy and working on keeping us on the right path ever since. The video was very insitefull and had I seen the video before, it may of helped me to see what I was doing wrong. It is a very good video and I am glad my partner had recomended this site to me. Thank you for your dedication and hard work on tring to help other couple out and help them have a healthy and long lasting relationship. I will definatly be recommending this site to my friends. Once again Thank you.

]]> By: Bruce http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/2008/10/31/your-top-relationship-concerns/#comment-5276 Bruce Mon, 28 Dec 2009 01:45:55 +0000 http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/?p=39#comment-5276 Salvatore, Thank you for the video. I am finding your institute very meaningful and intriguing. My partner and I met in San Francisco nearly 36 years ago. Our friends are amazed at how long our successful "marriage" has lasted. We are happy and will never split. I do not say our relationship is 100% perfect, but it is better than we anticipated 30 years ago. There are a few life interests and sexual situations that we try to improve, but basically, these things are not devastating. Still, I read your material with much personal interest. BL Salvatore, Thank you for the video. I am finding your institute very meaningful and intriguing. My partner and I met in San Francisco nearly 36 years ago. Our friends are amazed at how long our successful “marriage” has lasted. We are happy and will never split. I do not say our relationship is 100% perfect, but it is better than we anticipated 30 years ago. There are a few life interests and sexual situations that we try to improve, but basically, these things are not devastating. Still, I read your material with much personal interest. BL

]]> By: ew http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/2008/10/31/your-top-relationship-concerns/#comment-4467 ew Sun, 18 Oct 2009 17:12:23 +0000 http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/?p=39#comment-4467 I would like to have better communication and honesty in my relationship. I would like fewer arguments and I would like for more accountability on my partner's behalf when she is dishonest. Basically I would like to be counseled but because she is in the military, everything is hush hush and I feel a lack of support from community seeing as we are Black. Anytime, there is a problem it is because God did not want us to be gay, so it is hard to work on us when we have so little support. Thanks for having this program and videos. I would like to have better communication and honesty in my relationship. I would like fewer arguments and I would like for more accountability on my partner’s behalf when she is dishonest. Basically I would like to be counseled but because she is in the military, everything is hush hush and I feel a lack of support from community seeing as we are Black. Anytime, there is a problem it is because God did not want us to be gay, so it is hard to work on us when we have so little support. Thanks for having this program and videos.

]]> By: Anonymous http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/2008/10/31/your-top-relationship-concerns/#comment-4144 Anonymous Sat, 26 Sep 2009 14:53:02 +0000 http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/?p=39#comment-4144 how to deal with being gay in a straight workplace. how to cope with going to work related functions and not being able to take your partner along.pretending that gay topics at work don't bother you when they do.not being yourself in the work place do to people talking about gay people. how to deal with being gay in a straight workplace. how to cope with going to work related functions and not being able to take your partner along.pretending that gay topics at work don’t bother you when they do.not being yourself in the work place do to people talking about gay people.

]]> By: Gail http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/2008/10/31/your-top-relationship-concerns/#comment-2858 Gail Sun, 17 May 2009 00:02:40 +0000 http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/?p=39#comment-2858 We've been together 13 years, but she does not define herself as a lesbian and I do. Culturally and sexually, this has been an issue though I love her dearly. I am feeling denied culturally because we do not hang out with other lesbians and sexually, well....she is not willing to have oral sex though she loves it when I do her. We have similar work ethics, values, faith....there is so much going for us and yet...I have thought this past year, I only have this one life. We’ve been together 13 years, but she does not define herself as a lesbian and I do. Culturally and sexually, this has been an issue though I love her dearly. I am feeling denied culturally because we do not hang out with other lesbians and sexually, well….she is not willing to have oral sex though she loves it when I do her. We have similar work ethics, values, faith….there is so much going for us and yet…I have thought this past year, I only have this one life.

]]> By: Robbie http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/2008/10/31/your-top-relationship-concerns/#comment-2828 Robbie Fri, 15 May 2009 01:14:30 +0000 http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/?p=39#comment-2828 I like the idea of attending a couples workshop/seminar for the day on specific topics. Also, don't mind attending short seminars (3hrs) all for a nominal fee. Several workshops/seminars could be presented through out the year?? I like the idea of attending a couples workshop/seminar for the day on specific topics. Also, don’t mind attending short seminars (3hrs) all for a nominal fee. Several workshops/seminars could be presented through out the year??

]]> By: Robbie http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/2008/10/31/your-top-relationship-concerns/#comment-2827 Robbie Fri, 15 May 2009 01:10:10 +0000 http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/?p=39#comment-2827 Discuss commitment, as in Marriage. Communication and Finances. All of the above, except open relationships since we do not believe in that. Discuss commitment, as in Marriage. Communication and Finances. All of the above, except open relationships since we do not believe in that.

]]> By: JB http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/2008/10/31/your-top-relationship-concerns/#comment-2740 JB Fri, 01 May 2009 22:36:48 +0000 http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/?p=39#comment-2740 The two things I need from my relationship- 1. To learn to trust my partner again after she cheated on me. 2. To be able to be open with each other and feel like she is putting in her all. To feel like I am the only one she wants to be with. Suggestions: I'm not from the bay area, I live in san diego, but your institue has been the most helpful so far, and It would be so wonderful if you offered more phone or internet services so that my partner and I can work on things at home. The two things I need from my relationship-
1. To learn to trust my partner again after she cheated on me.
2. To be able to be open with each other and feel like she is putting in her all. To feel like I am the only one she wants to be with.

Suggestions:
I’m not from the bay area, I live in san diego, but your institue has been the most helpful so far, and It would be so wonderful if you offered more phone or internet services so that my partner and I can work on things at home.

]]> By: Anonymous http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/2008/10/31/your-top-relationship-concerns/#comment-1282 Anonymous Fri, 16 Jan 2009 02:59:50 +0000 http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/?p=39#comment-1282 How do you repair a relationship when my boyfriend says he has checked out and no longer wants to be in a relationship. please help. How do you repair a relationship when my boyfriend says he has checked out and no longer wants to be in a relationship. please help.

]]> By: noah http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/2008/10/31/your-top-relationship-concerns/#comment-1235 noah Thu, 01 Jan 2009 10:26:42 +0000 http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/?p=39#comment-1235 help me!! my partner always talks down to me and i have tried to tell him that he does this and it doesnt feel good but he only get more angry with me. how do i let him know or show him that this is tearing us apart? help me!! my partner always talks down to me and i have tried to tell him that he does this and it doesnt feel good but he only get more angry with me. how do i let him know or show him that this is tearing us apart?

]]> By: Kyle http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/2008/10/31/your-top-relationship-concerns/#comment-1224 Kyle Tue, 30 Dec 2008 23:40:57 +0000 http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/?p=39#comment-1224 My boyfriend and I are trying to mend our differences after a four-month hiatus. During these four months, I have received a job opporutnity in my hometown and we have decided to spend the next month trying to work on the "mending." What would be the best step to maintain the relationship? Defer the job opportunity for our relationship or risk a long-distance relationship? My boyfriend and I are trying to mend our differences after a four-month hiatus. During these four months, I have received a job opporutnity in my hometown and we have decided to spend the next month trying to work on the “mending.” What would be the best step to maintain the relationship? Defer the job opportunity for our relationship or risk a long-distance relationship?

]]> By: Anonymous http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/2008/10/31/your-top-relationship-concerns/#comment-1174 Anonymous Mon, 22 Dec 2008 23:16:05 +0000 http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/?p=39#comment-1174 The top two things you want from your present relationship? - for her to stop with the "me, me, me" - monogamy What are the top 2 things you desire to have, or wish to improve, in your relationship right now. - build as and us not "you and I" - stop belittling me The top two things you want from your present
relationship?
- for her to stop with the “me, me, me”
- monogamy

What are the top 2 things you desire to have, or wish to improve,
in your relationship right now.

- build as and us not “you and I”
- stop belittling me

]]> By: Joan http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/2008/10/31/your-top-relationship-concerns/#comment-1164 Joan Wed, 17 Dec 2008 16:31:32 +0000 http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/?p=39#comment-1164 Is it ever a good thing to have an ex girlfriend in the relationship when there are feelings for her coming from your now girlfirld. Is it ever a good thing to have an ex girlfriend in the relationship when there are feelings for her coming from your now girlfirld.

]]> By: John Bernardo http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/2008/10/31/your-top-relationship-concerns/#comment-1150 John Bernardo Sat, 13 Dec 2008 13:34:52 +0000 http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/?p=39#comment-1150 Salvatore, I finally made the time to check the video.. I apologize. I was wondering though how non-verbal communication between partners tanslates to verbal and either cements the daily conflicts or manages to provide a patch the situation. Example-"The rolled eyes I made was not about your end of our conversation but if you want to take it that way go ahead"...which then just blows up. I think it is one of the things as people we need to address more closely. PLease keep up the all the hard work and may many good things happen to the gay couples institue. Salvatore,
I finally made the time to check the video.. I apologize.

I was wondering though how non-verbal communication between partners tanslates to verbal and either cements the daily conflicts or manages to provide a patch the situation.

Example-”The rolled eyes I made was not about your end of our conversation but if you want to take it that way go ahead”…which then just blows up.

I think it is one of the things as people we need to address more closely.

PLease keep up the all the hard work and may many good things happen to the gay couples institue.

]]> By: Brian http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/2008/10/31/your-top-relationship-concerns/#comment-1149 Brian Sat, 13 Dec 2008 08:01:15 +0000 http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/?p=39#comment-1149 I'm mostly concerned with continuing on building trust and respect for each other in a relationship. I know relationships evolve, but I think it's important to keep a relationship green and I find that by trying to do so I keep taking one step forward and two steps back. I want to know how others keep growing and learning with their partners. I’m mostly concerned with continuing on building trust and respect for each other in a relationship. I know relationships evolve, but I think it’s important to keep a relationship green and I find that by trying to do so I keep taking one step forward and two steps back. I want to know how others keep growing and learning with their partners.

]]> By: kevin http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/2008/10/31/your-top-relationship-concerns/#comment-1147 kevin Fri, 12 Dec 2008 22:39:00 +0000 http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/?p=39#comment-1147 i want to ask my partner about some rules of the road we've started to work on ... because i think he's already engaging in these rules of the road w/o our having talked about them, negotiated them, compromised, etc. how might i broach these subjects? the need to discuss and my supposition about his use of the rules before they've been set? i want to ask my partner about some rules of the road we’ve started to work on … because i think he’s already engaging in these rules of the road w/o our having talked about them, negotiated them, compromised, etc. how might i broach these subjects? the need to discuss and my supposition about his use of the rules before they’ve been set?

]]> By: Pablo Fernández-Arias http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/2008/10/31/your-top-relationship-concerns/#comment-1145 Pablo Fernández-Arias Fri, 12 Dec 2008 18:11:46 +0000 http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/?p=39#comment-1145 In the last 6 weeks my bf of nearly 8 months has commented he´s been reminiscing over his past relationship with his ex-bf (they broke up October last year). He also tells me he doesn´t like dwelling on those memories. I´d like to ask him what he thinks is triggering this and wouldn´t wish him to get defensive. Thanks In the last 6 weeks my bf of nearly 8 months has commented he´s been reminiscing over his past relationship with his ex-bf (they broke up October last year). He also tells me he doesn´t like dwelling on those memories. I´d like to ask him what he thinks is triggering this and wouldn´t wish him to get defensive. Thanks

]]> By: Not hopeful http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/2008/10/31/your-top-relationship-concerns/#comment-1144 Not hopeful Fri, 12 Dec 2008 17:43:00 +0000 http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/?p=39#comment-1144 My partner and I have been together (mostly happily) for 13 years. We have a toddler now. Things have started to deteriorate between us in the last year. How do you rebuild a relationship after you start drifting apart? How do you rekindle a romance when you have nothing left to give? My partner and I have been together (mostly happily) for 13 years. We have a toddler now. Things have started to deteriorate between us in the last year. How do you rebuild a relationship after you start drifting apart? How do you rekindle a romance when you have nothing left to give?

]]> By: Ric Williams http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/2008/10/31/your-top-relationship-concerns/#comment-1143 Ric Williams Fri, 12 Dec 2008 17:07:21 +0000 http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/?p=39#comment-1143 My partner and I have a great relationship, based on trust and committment. We rarely fight and when we do, we use constructive comments and try not to carry any grudges afterwards. Our problem is that the excitement is simply not there. We have grown too comfortable, too predictable and too busy to invest in quality time and intimate caring. Our focus is our careers, our financial stability, and our future plans. Nothing is about us as a loving couple. We have become our parents.... My partner and I have a great relationship, based on trust and committment. We rarely fight and when we do, we use constructive comments and try not to carry any grudges afterwards.
Our problem is that the excitement is simply not there. We have grown too comfortable, too predictable and too busy to invest in quality time and intimate caring. Our focus is our careers, our financial stability, and our future plans. Nothing is about us as a loving couple. We have become our parents….

]]> By: Brian http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/2008/10/31/your-top-relationship-concerns/#comment-1141 Brian Fri, 12 Dec 2008 07:46:54 +0000 http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/?p=39#comment-1141 I would like to hear about rebuilding a relationship which has been kinda crushed. When there are still feelings of affection and love for each other, are there steps to regain trust? Or is there a way to rebuild a foundation for a relationship? I would like to hear about rebuilding a relationship which has been kinda crushed. When there are still feelings of affection and love for each other, are there steps to regain trust? Or is there a way to rebuild a foundation for a relationship?

]]> By: jam http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/2008/10/31/your-top-relationship-concerns/#comment-1130 jam Tue, 09 Dec 2008 00:40:12 +0000 http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/?p=39#comment-1130 I broke up with my partner about 6 months ago. It was not an easy break up and I have had no further contact with my partner since. I have had a couple of relationships (other than the most recent one) and I remain good friends with each of my ex-partners. We remain friends and still care for each other and understand that we will care and love each other - just in a different way. This made the process of breaking up easier to understand for both of us and we still enjoy each others friendship today. My sudden and unpleasant break with my most recent partner pains me and I am sure him. I am considering making contact again but do not want to be hurt further or hurt him. Can you suggest strategies to develop an ongoing friendship after your relationship has ended? I broke up with my partner about 6 months ago. It was not an easy break up and I have had no further contact with my partner since. I have had a couple of relationships (other than the most recent one) and I remain good friends with each of my ex-partners. We remain friends and still care for each other and understand that we will care and love each other - just in a different way. This made the process of breaking up easier to understand for both of us and we still enjoy each others friendship today. My sudden and unpleasant break with my most recent partner pains me and I am sure him. I am considering making contact again but do not want to be hurt further or hurt him. Can you suggest strategies to develop an ongoing friendship after your relationship has ended?

]]> By: Anonymous http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/2008/10/31/your-top-relationship-concerns/#comment-1129 Anonymous Mon, 08 Dec 2008 23:06:32 +0000 http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/?p=39#comment-1129 I don't know if it is possible but how do you deal with a discrepancy in the need for emotional intimacy and affection between two partners? How do you deal with differences in personalisy as far as extroversion and intoversion between two partners? I don’t know if it is possible but how do you deal with a discrepancy in the need for emotional intimacy and affection between two partners? How do you deal with differences in personalisy as far as extroversion and intoversion between two partners?

]]> By: Anonymous http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/2008/10/31/your-top-relationship-concerns/#comment-1127 Anonymous Mon, 08 Dec 2008 19:17:59 +0000 http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/?p=39#comment-1127 If i could have anything, I'd wish for better sex, better communication If i could have anything, I’d wish for better sex, better communication

]]> By: Anonymous http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/2008/10/31/your-top-relationship-concerns/#comment-1128 Anonymous Sat, 29 Nov 2008 19:20:13 +0000 http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/?p=39#comment-1128 we need to learn to communicate. he says I cheated on him by kissing someone else and there's no trust we need to learn to communicate. he says I cheated on him by kissing someone else and there’s no trust

]]> By: admin http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/2008/10/31/your-top-relationship-concerns/#comment-1102 admin Sat, 22 Nov 2008 15:11:26 +0000 http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/?p=39#comment-1102 have better sex, more intimacy have better sex, more intimacy

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