50 Comments Received So Far… »

1. Coming out to your parents and introducing your new boyfriend. How do you do this?Comment by Not out yet — April 7, 2008 @ 1:31 pm
2. Is it cheating when your boyfriend flirts and chats with other guys online? How do I make that work with him?Comment by AG — April 9, 2008 @ 10:56 am
3. How do I stop judging my boyfriend and appreciate him?
   How do I deal w my attraction to other people?   (more…)

So, we’ve been talking about something, and we wanted your feedback. Over the last year, my staff and I have been working on an enormous project.

We’ve been taking all of the:
- facts and information we’ve learned over the last 3 years about what makes successful gay couples work…
- all of the research,
- all of the lessons we’ve learned first hand from years of gay couple counseling, and…
- the relationship teachings from the most reputed relationship expert in the world, John Gottman…

And we wanted to put it together in one place so that you could have access everything that makes relationships work long-term.

As you can read on our blog, couples are in a lot of pain. They’re frustrated mainly about lack of communication, mistrust, and recurring arguments.

So we want to help couples get out of this pain, and we’d like you to tell us the ideal format you’d like to receive this information.

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Thanks for voting on our poll. If you’d like to see the results, and get the first opportunity to get your hands on the project we’re putting together, just enter your email here:
http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/video.htm

Money is tight for everyone right now, and lately the Gay Couples Relationship Clinic in SF has seen an increase in couples coming in for help with financial problems. In response to this, we’re creating a free online web seminar showing gay couples how to deal with conflict stemming from financial worries. More on that later, though.

So how do couples get through this rough time? I think the most important thing couples do initially is recognize that you’re stressed out about your mortgage or the economy, and not necessarily about your partner. I saw one couple this week who prefaced any ranting about money with, “Look, I just need to vent for a minute, it’s not you I’m mad at.” Realizing he’s not the *target* of the rant, then his partner could listen empathetically, not trying to fix things right away.

Too often we try to jump in, giving our partner solutions to their problems, when what they really need is space to think things through aloud. The coming free web seminar will discuss how to incorporate this kind of “ranting session” into your everyday schedule. We’ll also show you some rules to put around the ranting so that no one gets blamed, or gets defensive.

If you’re interested in the free seminar about handling money disputes, just watch your email for registration….

Let us know how else the Gay Couples Institute can help your relationship.

Wishing you success,

Salvatore Garanzini, MFT

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