Comments on: Understanding Monogamy and Gay Couples http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/2008/02/25/understanding-monogamy-and-gay-couples/ Research Blog Fri, 06 Jan 2012 19:39:21 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: m_doctor http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/2008/02/25/understanding-monogamy-and-gay-couples/#comment-6130 m_doctor Sun, 30 Oct 2011 15:01:44 +0000 http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/?p=13#comment-6130 We have many organizations for everything in our sub-culture except one for those wanting a monogamous relationship. Why isn't there a national organization with local chapters where gays can have social events with others who have or want to be in a monogamous relationship? It would appear to me to be far more healthy to me than all of the zillion sites for hookups. This is the element missing in our community to fill the void missing that the straight world enjoys - courting, dating, flirting, and getting to know others based on non-sexual events. Bringing like-minded individuals, and couples who feel "alone" in their monogamous relationship together to celebrate in a secular way. We have many organizations for everything in our sub-culture except one for those wanting a monogamous relationship. Why isn’t there a national organization with local chapters where gays can have social events with others who have or want to be in a monogamous relationship? It would appear to me to be far more healthy to me than all of the zillion sites for hookups. This is the element missing in our community to fill the void missing that the straight world enjoys – courting, dating, flirting, and getting to know others based on non-sexual events. Bringing like-minded individuals, and couples who feel “alone” in their monogamous relationship together to celebrate in a secular way.

]]> By: Thomas Hill http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/2008/02/25/understanding-monogamy-and-gay-couples/#comment-5732 Thomas Hill Sat, 09 Jul 2011 19:58:53 +0000 http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/?p=13#comment-5732 Adam, Thank you for giving me hope. I have been hurt in the past. I have almost given up on finding a monogamous partner. It is comforting to know that it is possible. Adam,

Thank you for giving me hope. I have been hurt in the past. I have almost given up on finding a monogamous partner. It is comforting to know that it is possible.

]]> By: admin http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/2008/02/25/understanding-monogamy-and-gay-couples/#comment-5725 admin Wed, 15 Jun 2011 04:38:37 +0000 http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/?p=13#comment-5725 Hi Adam, Thanks for posting this comment. I think it's great for a lot of other couples to read. GCI Hi Adam,

Thanks for posting this comment. I think it’s great for a lot of other couples to read.

GCI

]]> By: Adam http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/2008/02/25/understanding-monogamy-and-gay-couples/#comment-5724 Adam Sun, 12 Jun 2011 04:38:41 +0000 http://www.gaycouplesinstitute.org/blog/?p=13#comment-5724 My partner Mark and I have been in a monogamous relationship for the past 7 years. We are both in our early 30s. Part of the reason we came in contact with each other was because we had both been hurt by unfaithful partners in the past and did not want to share our partner with others, so we were looking for monogamy and an exclusiveness. Monogamy works for us and we wouldn't change it. We used to think that we were the only monogamous gay couples and every one else was having three ways and in open relationships. What we've since discovered is that monogamous gay couples are in fact around and in large numbers. They just are not easy to find. Monogamous gay couples, in our experience, are not on gay website or go to clubs... because that's the scene and places where single gay men and open gay couples are looking for sex. When you're part of a monogamous relationship, you're not after that, you just want to make friends. People need to stop saying gay relationships aren't this or aren't that and realise that every relationship, gay or straight, are unique and need to accommodate the needs of the people involved. The rules for one relationship is entirely different for another. As long as both people in that relationship are happy with their arrangement and both follow this agreement, it's a relationship. My partner Mark and I have been in a monogamous relationship for the past 7 years. We are both in our early 30s. Part of the reason we came in contact with each other was because we had both been hurt by unfaithful partners in the past and did not want to share our partner with others, so we were looking for monogamy and an exclusiveness.

Monogamy works for us and we wouldn’t change it. We used to think that we were the only monogamous gay couples and every one else was having three ways and in open relationships. What we’ve since discovered is that monogamous gay couples are in fact around and in large numbers. They just are not easy to find. Monogamous gay couples, in our experience, are not on gay website or go to clubs… because that’s the scene and places where single gay men and open gay couples are looking for sex. When you’re part of a monogamous relationship, you’re not after that, you just want to make friends.

People need to stop saying gay relationships aren’t this or aren’t that and realise that every relationship, gay or straight, are unique and need to accommodate the needs of the people involved. The rules for one relationship is entirely different for another. As long as both people in that relationship are happy with their arrangement and both follow this agreement, it’s a relationship.

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